The Project Isn’t the Problem

What capable people often miss about feeling stuck

There’s often a moment that prompts someone to consider coaching.
It rarely arrives with fanfare. No crisis. No breakdown. Just… a subtle dissonance.

Something that used to work, no longer does.
Something that felt small, keeps being postponed.
Something internal is circling — but doesn’t yet have a name.

The Surface Story

For Damien, it was a home renovation.
A project he’d wanted to finish for four years. Not a dramatic obstacle. Just… a task that wouldn’t move.

He’s thoughtful. Experienced. Analytical. The kind of person others rely on.
He knows how to think things through, break problems down, execute on a plan.

But this one kept slipping.

The practical part of him explained it: not enough time, low priority, too many competing tasks.

The deeper part — the one he wasn’t yet in dialogue with — just felt vaguely frustrated and disconnected. Not just from the kitchen. From himself.

“It Shouldn’t Be a Big Deal…”

This is what I often hear from experienced professionals — in and outside of coaching:

• “I’ve done bigger things than this.”

• “It’s just inertia. I’ll get there eventually.”

• “Maybe I just need to push through.”

• "why am I procrastinating?"

What’s hard to admit — even internally — is that something more fundamental might be at play.
Not a character flaw. Not a motivation gap. Something older. Quieter. More systemic.

In Damien’s case, we explored it slowly. Gently. Without turning it into a ‘problem to solve.’

And what emerged was a different kind of insight:

“If the project had been for someone else, I’d have done it. But for me… I couldn’t quite justify it.”

Beyond the Task: What Was Really Happening

What looked like procrastination or overthinking was something far more common — and often unseen:

• A subtle pattern of over-functioning for others, while sidelining self-initiated desires

• A deeply internalised belief about when it’s ‘valid’ to invest in something just for you

• A quiet sense of guilt or resistance around taking up space

This isn’t rare. It doesn’t make someone weak, or flawed, or behind.

In fact, it’s often the result of being highly competent, responsible, and attuned to others — to the point where self-directed action becomes unfamiliar, even unsafe.

What Coaching Made Possible

This wasn’t about clever reframes or productivity hacks.

The work we did together wasn’t flashy. But it was real.

“You weren’t trying to give me a solution,” Damien said. “You were creating a space where I could finally hear what I’d been avoiding.”

Each session opened just enough room for something new to be felt. Named. Re-examined.
And slowly, the energy began to shift.

Not because we solved the kitchen.
But because we stopped trying to force the ‘fix’ and instead listened more carefully to the stuckness itself.

What Changed — Tangibly

Over time, the kitchen did get done.
But that was only part of it.

What changed — perhaps more meaningfully — was how Damien related to himself.

• He started acting on long-postponed decisions

• He stopped needing to justify things that mattered to him

• He trusted his own pace — and his own desires — a little more

• He noticed a quiet lightness replacing the heaviness he hadn’t even realised he was carrying

He wasn’t “transformed.”
He simply became more able to move again — in a way that felt self-directed and true.

Why This Matters

I’ve seen versions of this in people from every industry.
Founders. Consultants. Creatives. Engineers. Community leaders.

What they all share isn’t a lack of insight — it’s a kind of internal over-responsibility.
A pattern of thinking their way through things, often brilliantly… until that stops working.

And when it does, it’s not because they’ve failed.
It’s because the terrain has changed — and the tools they were using no longer quite fit.

That’s when something else is needed.
Not advice. Not a plan. Not accountability.

Just space.
With company.

An Invitation

You might not relate to Damien’s situation exactly.
But if you recognise something in the texture of this story — that quiet circling, that tired push — then you’re not alone.

And there may be more available to you than you’ve allowed yourself to believe.

If you’d like to explore what that could look like, you’re welcome to start here:

→ Book a check-in conversation

This isn’t a pitch. It’s a threshold.
And you’ll know if it’s time.